Carrying the weight of a new year on my flimsy 3-year-old greying black backpack, thoughts of too many school related problems that might or might not happen fill my mind. The feeling of sitting in my dad’s Nissan on the morning of Aug. 10 of freshman year was overwhelming –mentally I was at school already. Coming from the radio, “Lovely Day” by Bill Withers brought me back to reality. The world became all right with me. Music was a catalyst for my daily success. It felt as if it was fueling my brain as I solved equations. Artists like Aphex Twin and Nujabes were regulars during late night geometry study sessions. I would associate certain formulas with songs while I was reviewing –listening to the same songs before crucial tests would jog my memory. “Convenience” by Jaydes became the area of a trapezoid. Putting in my earbuds after a good test would further lighten my mood; whereas putting them in after getting bad results would distract me from the situation.

After a hectic 14th of March, sophomore year, I reflect on the day. Inserting my copy of the house key into the hole –“We Major” by Kanye West blasting in my ears. Three tests that all went my way. A presentation I aced. Hoop session planned with my friends. Life was perfect –elevated by the energetic horns of the “We Major” instrumental. I was feeling better than I ever felt before that day. In my 2nd year I used uplifting music as the soundtrack to my life to ground me and lead to more celebrations during triumphs than grief during failures. I used music to bond with my friends as well. Having apps such as Airbuds to connect via music recommendations led to me and my friends broadening our taste due to the ability to share our own favorites. We would listen to new drops together during free time. Go to record stores to find rare vinyls. Rank albums based on how much we enjoyed them. It was an unlikely bonding tool that strengthened friendships of mine.

My Adidas slides hit the pavement as “TURNINUP” by Destroy Lonely controlled my movements. Playing basketball with my friends or by myself had become a daily occurrence for my junior year –sound-tracked by a speaker or my Airpods. I’d dribble up my driveway led by the music, shooting consecutive threes. I’d formulate my own mix-tape in my head. Outside until it got dark and the bugs got louder. “Sandiego” by Jordan Ward played as I took a cool down lap around the block. Junior year me was motivated by music, whether it be running, basketball, or studying. It was a constant for me. My total minutes listened per week would average to about 2000, higher than any other year. Junior year is notorious for its difficulty which boosted my need for various songs and artists. Curating specified playlists for aspects of life whether it be concentration based or for the AUX, was enjoyable and marked exact eras of the year. Complex projects and tedious packets required only the best tracks for full focus. Jack Johnson, Hiroyuki Sawano and Freddie Gibbs were key contributors to cramming for crucial exams. On days off and during free time, I would hoop with my friends –Lil Uzi Vert and Future blaring from a speaker.

I’m in my final year of high school and music still holds importance for me. It is prevalent in most parts of my life, still contributing in every way as the previous years. I still use it to focus. I was even listening to Switchfoot and The Cranberries while writing this. Although it is prohibited at school due to House Bill 1481, its role is still visible outside of school. Even the lack of music itself has an impact. Truly immersing myself in the environment of the halls for the first time feels conclusionary. Reflecting over the past few years I understand the presence of music was more than just background noise, it’s been a guide and a clear indication of my development as a student and as a person.